Image via Wikipedia
Ever wondered why I hate public transportation so much?
If you ever read my blog/ Facebook/ twitter updates, you may have noticed that I complain A LOT about busses, trains, and a bucket-loads of shallow shit (like the icky smell) that happens to me whenever I am in close range of any public transportation means…
So ‘nuff with the introduction… this was my day coming home this week: I got a first class ticket as I always do when I go home, and I notice that I am two (2!!) fucking hours early. OH DUH DING DONG THE DEPARTURE TIME CHANGED LIKE OH… I DON’T KNOW… 4 MONTHS AGO!!
OK, moving on… I go to first class, sit down. Just like normal people do. (a.n. this happened Friday; it is Sunday morning and I am still pissed, so please don’t mind the grammar mistakes I would or wouldn’t normally do make)
There were these old women there, going on and on and on and on and on (….) about nothing in particular, skipping from one subject to another like they were pre-pubescent teens suffering from ADHD ( ‘I don’t get easily distract….oooh, look! A bunny!’ ). This small detail counts because as soon as I got into action the old women switched to dead silence for my whole trip. THANK YOU GOD! I could hear them through hard rock blasting in my headphones even before I took a seat on that damned train
At this point the train was getting ready to leave the station, and I throw my purse on the seat in front of me, since it was not taken and stretch my legs on it (point of clarification- my legs were stretched on my purse, that was on the seat facing me.) and this fat son of a pig (NOT A METAPHOR)…
[PICTURE -> ]
(‘Oooh, look! A bunny!’)
Before I reveal what went down, I really want to point out that I did not smoke for like… 3 days and that I badly needed a cig, but I kept saying no. Therefore, my reaction to what was said was very justified, and above all, he had it coming. Oh yeah. More about WHY after these short quotes (a.n. – when I run out of cigs I get annoyed by air molecules , ergo, am very sarcastic. In Romanian, my comebacks are fucking hilarious. I didn’t even notice they were until I got off the train and ranted to mom and dad. I was blowing off steam and they were laughing till their rib cages hurt… and to think that parents never see that being impertinent is going to lead to anything good…)
(pig walks by me—nearly. Takes two steps, turns around and yells for everyone in the cart to hear.) “this is how you act at home, too?!”
“No, at home I spend my time butt-naked, with my legs on the table, and take my dumps in the livingroom.”
“WHY, is this is how you–” (he meant to say ‘is this how your parents thought you, but I cut him off)
“Because this way you can act like a fly and land in my shit.”
“I guess you don’t use your brain–” he tries to be spiritual, but once again, he’s too stupid to mess with me on a low nicotine diet, as I react on the urge of the moment, and blurt out “Of course I am not using my brain, otherwise we wouldn’t be on the same level anymore!”
—5 full seconds of dead silence— then he plays the ‘respect card’ on me and tells me he’s gonna tell the mechanic of the train to call the police to get me off the train… Ooohh, bad move, dude…. Really… Really, bad move…
Once again, I cut him off, showing exactly how much respect I had for him, and continue making my point.
“I may be on this Earth for 2 decades and a hiccup, but I know more about respect than you will ever know about anything in your entire life.”
At which point he tries to cut me off and I start raising my voice to make myself heard, and stand up so the jackass can take a better look at the PURSE on the seat, under my legs.
“Not only does respect need to be earned, but in order to BE respected by the people around you, you need to respect other people, also. And frankly, I couldn’t give a flying fuck about respect towards you.”
He finally shuts up and sits down. I feel complete. I shut him up. Little did I know…
The train finally leaves the station… I mockingly make myself comfortable again… just as before, but this time with an attitude. He stares. The conductor comes in, checks our tickets, does not have any comments based on the way I was positioned on the two seats, greets me respectfully upon seeing my name on my ticket and recognizing it, moves on.
The dude from earlier continues to stare. For the whole 3 hour ride.
Alas, I do not think there is a bad enough word in the entire English vocabulary to describe this person. At least not the ones I know. Please feel free to comment bellow and teach me a few new slurs for incompetent two-legged pigs with no brain, self-esteem, or strength to go up against a 21-year little ol’ me… by all means. Please. I am *dying* to find out if these kind of attention beggars have a name. In any variant of the English language.
THIS IS THE FUCKTARD.
The dude smelled like vinegar. Except it was the sweet odor of his sweat*sarcasm*. This is what I (partially) mean about absolutely loathing public transportation.
LEARN HIS FACE AND OTHER CHARACTERISTICS.
YOU MIGHT NEED THIS KNOWLEDGE SOME DAY TO PREPARE YOURSELF MENTALLY FOR A POSSIBLE RUN-IN WITH ONE OF THE SPECIMENS OF THIS PARTICULARY OBNOXIOUS, AMAZINGLY DUMB BREED OF CREATURES.
until next time,
Cheers 
Lexxa~
